blackstar

2006-03-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

okay, i shall update no matter how miserable im feeling now. i wished i could turn back time. i wished i never knew you. how nice if we are not together now. there wouldnt be so many quarrels. perhaps those quarrels were because of us not knowing each other well enough yet, or perhaps not. from what i think, i really do understand you and im sure of myself that i know you very well. you made millions of promises to me, but only some of them were well kept. sometimes i would think, do you really love me for who i am and not what i am? im feeling super miserable now. the feelings killing me. how i wished i never knew you. all these wouldnt even happen. but i guess its too late now. i have to face up to reality that we are together now and we are supposed to be meant for each other. no matter how bad the situation may be, we have to hold on and be strong. no matter how hard it is to hold on to our relationship, i have to and i will. i want to be with you till the end of time. i will never let you go, this i swear to you. since the day we were together, when we just started in pri 6, i knew you were the true one for me. though we broke up silently during the end of pri 6, God made us back together on 16 october 2005. (: im so fortunate to have you. and everything that ive said previously came deep down from the bottom of my heart. honestly, you mean so much to me. i dont want to ever fucking lose you. im getting super emotional now. but i cant do anything about it. i can really feel the pain in my heart. its so unbearable, so painful. im in agony. sighs. guess both of us shall take a break and cool down for the moment. when youre feeling better, we will talk things out. we shall learn from our mistakes. i love you, Junguang. <3>

2006-03-16T15:12:00.000+08:00

ITS A DEATHWISH

ahh, i need to blog. my blog is so-not-updated. ): sorry people. felt horrible for the past few days. had severe fever which almost burnt my brain. had to rush to changi general hospital around eleven plus at night.(on monday) though i went to consult the doctor with the die-die-also-want company of my baby that morning. wasnt feeling any better after that.

i stayed at home on tuesday. spent 3/4 of the time on bed. didnt have the strength to move around. fever was really bad. had slight headaches, cough, flu and super bad sore throat. my baby called me up many times, but i didnt manage to answer them. (im sorry baby) i was too weak to. i was not even fully conscious that day. ): sighs.

my baby came to visit me on tuesday night. i was really glad though. he wasnt afraid id pass him my germs. he kissed me, hugged me, sayanged me. i was really touched. unfortunately, i passed him my fever. and he was too, down with fever the next day. it was really heartbreaking to see him suffer. ): and of course, he went to consult the doctor.

he had to rest at home on wednesday. he didnt want to miss our long-planned escape trip on our 5th month. sighs. i didnt want to miss it too. both of us have been looking forward to our 5th month months ago. was really disappointing.

todays thursday and both of us are still not recovering. this shows that our plan is ruined. ): (crys) we will have to wait for our 6th month. sighs. i hate to wait. time crawls during school days. ahhh, lets not fucking talk about our 5th month anymore. we shall look forward to our 6th month. (: yepp! oh no, he saw my ezlink photo. it was shitty. he said it was nice. (oh please, dont make me puke) its normal for guys to say that to their girlfriends. even if that picture is ugly, he will have to praise it like no ones business. haha. (im used to it) lucky he didnt go overboard by using bombastic words. (phew)

oh yay! finally those brainless creatures are gone. thank god. peace is all i need. (imissyou) i will want to go out with you tmr! im not going to give a damn about my illnesses; small matters. haha. baby, recover fast okay? get well soon my dear! love you gazillion lots too! <3>

p.s. dont think too highly of yourself. (x

2006-03-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

BABY, GET WELL SOON! (:

2006-03-14T17:24:00.000+08:00

i just want to clarify something. that testimonial wasnt an insult. if you people insist in believing the wrong from the right, by all means, so be it. i cant do anything. yeah, and if you people are OH-SO-IN-LOVE with my tagboard, continue tagging? yepp! x) its up to you people. but if i find that its too polluted with singlish and all sorts of rubbish, guess ill have to remove the tagboard. (: you can post your comments, i dont mind. no ones perfect, anyway. and also, please buck up your english before criticising others. and using of vulgarities show that you people are lack of vocabularys. yeah. think thats about it. (:

2006-03-12T10:25:00.000+08:00

Unholy Confessions
seriously, that girl is getting on my nerves. i doubt she knows im talking about her. though both of us dont know each other well. but from what i can see, she does care a lot for him. she even cheered for him during cross country. (awww, how sweet.) she told him to "Go home and stretch or you will have sore limbs tomorrow." why care so much for him?! hes just your friend. even if both of you are good friends, both of you shouldnt be even sharing secrets about me and him. it aint too good to get so close to each other. and you know something? he has a girlfriend. aint you very clear about it? you should know what you should and should not do. theres one thing i feel like doing now. but i shall not be so heartless to the oh-so-caring friend of his. your too-caring acts are overboard luh,really. maybe you dont feel the same way as me. but who cares? hes my boyfriend and he aint allow to flirt in school. and i believed he did not. he has always been very loyal to me. dont lead him into temptations please. sometimes, overfriendly aint a good thang at all. being too nice to people will worsen the situation. perhaps, sooner or later, you will be able to take over my status. mhmm, perhaps not. maybe thats your dream all along? no one knows. only you know yourself best. i cant guarantee anything now but somehow, things will change after some time. we shall see.

this is the first time i treat someone i dislike so nice, to the extent of blogging about how i feel instead of confronting her. (ahh, my hands are itchy.) alright. im off.

2006-03-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

didnt want to blog actually. but due to pure boredom, i have to. so tired; as usual, im feeling lethargic. (dontknowwhy) sighs. will be going town later. ahhh, finally i can enjoy myself. for the whole of this 1 week holidays, i shall not give a fuck care about my studies. (: i must and will enjoy my holidays! ive been studying every single day since the beginning of this year. mhmm, aint i hardworking? (: i dont want to retain, no way!

oh well, i miss my favourite techno. my baby hates it, anyway. he said that it would make him go bonkers. (laughs) what the hell? million tears by groove coverage is like darn nice can? im so addicted to it. some people just dont know how to appreciate technos. btw, i hate trance. they sound like shit. ):

i want to go out but at the same time, im lazy to. sighs. )x

every day is a bad day except for this coming thursday. (:
p.s. our 5 month anniversary. (aww, how sweet..)

you made me feel so special.
and you mean so much to me. (x

2006-03-10T14:05:00.000+08:00

ILOVEFRIDAYS.

oh gosh! exams are finally over! and im in the mood for blogging once again. (: today actually plan to watch my baby run his cross country and pass him his favourite thirst quencher, gatorade. but in the end we decided not to. he asked to meet him at his house after his cross country. at first i wanted to, but after thinking for some time, decided not to. baby im sorry. (guess he will be going out with his friends, anyway)

oh yes! i want to blog about the sucky biology paper we had on tuesday. the questions were super sucky and one of them was taken "not exactly" from that shitty ten years series. worst thang of all, it was ms cai who set the biology paper! guess shes a psycho? its so obvious that she wanted all the sec three biology students to die from her sucky paper luh! (im one of them) sighs. every one studied like mad before the biology paper. and all that we have studied wasnt tested! bloody shit.

english: it was okay (i dont understand the last paragraph)

biology: 100% flung (its a guarantee)

e math: it was easy (pray for no careless mistakes)

poaccounts: it was easy (lost a few marks due to carelessness)

combinedsciences: both papers were easy (pray for an A1)

chinese: compo was easy (lucky i brought my dictionary)

thats all i guess? cant wait to get my results! (:
i pray for at least 3 A1s.

ahhh, todays friday and im all alone at home, rotting. what the hell! its not my usual self! ): im dead tired. have been feeling lethargic for the past few days. whats happening to me? perhaps im overstressed due to common tests or perhaps not? ahh, whatever! (: exams are over. its a fact and the truth! i shall spend my holidays wisely! i want to play! oh yea, not to forget, next thursdays jguang&graces 5 month anniversary. (: ahhh cant wait cant wait!

seriously, some people are born to suck cocks.
* i wont bite, if you dont.
get the fuck out, bloody whore.

2006-03-04T16:50:00.000+08:00

we were on our way to see our new born brother! want to know whats his name? JASON HO ZHI XIAN. woohoo! (: yay! im on cloud nineee! every one is! especially my dad. hahaha. jasons so cute so cute so cute! he has got super chubby cheeks! ( i wanna squeeze them) ahhhh!

this morning i went to watch my baby at pasir ris park again. BORING! no match, so bored. after his training, we went loyang point for lunch. KA-FA-CHA. hahaha. weird name. but who cares? hmm, we headed to his house after that. he fetched me on his bike as usual. my butts were darn swollen after the ride. and ahhhh, i kinda broke his spects. he was sad of course. consoled him, he sent me home. ON HIS BIKE AGAIN. after that, he went to repair his precious spects and yepp, its done! my babys no longer sad anymore.

when he reached home, he messaged me saying
" dear, ill sms you later can. Very tired now. I wanna orh orh. I love you dear. "
ahhh.. FOREVER A PIG. (: -laughs

hes my remedy.
( i love my two babies) tsktsk.

2006-03-02T17:18:00.000+08:00

ahhh!! MY BABY BROTHERRRR! (: MARCH BABY! ahhh, im going crazy! yay! cant wait to see him later! haha. my dad just sent me two pictures of my baby brother! hes like so cute can? fat fat one. a few strands of hair. wahaha! i love my baby brother! muahh muahh. <3

born on the 2nd of March 2006! ill be going to see him later. and also, not to forget, my pretty mummy too! cant wait, cant wait, i cant wait! (x somemore common tests on next week, supposed to be studying hard now but i dont care anymore alr. I JUST WANT MY BABY BROTHER! ((:

when you go, just know that ill remember you.
( DARLING, I MISS YOU BADLY.)

2006-02-26T08:11:00.000+08:00

time checked: 8.10am

first time i could wake up so early in the morning on a sunday and im still yawning! :O weekends were meant for me to sleep one. but because of some stupid reason, i have to force myself to get the hell out of my bed. wanna know what happened?

"ahhh, theres a cockroach on the wall!"

my sister shouted fucking loud. i was super shocked and had to jump out of bed. ): damn it. I AM AFRAID OF COCKROACHES. THEY ARE DISGUSTING! i missed my killer whale and my mr blanket and miss pillow. sighs. feeling fucking lethargic now. guess my babys still sleeping, like a darn pig at home. haha! ohh, and i just looked through his last blog entry. all i can say is that he can eat fucking a lot. no matter what you give him, he will finish it up for you. ahhh, GREEDY PIG!

anyway, yepp im afraid of cockroaches. at least mines not too bad right? its normal for girls to be afraid of cockroaches. seriously, those creatures are really disgusting. okay. now let me tell you what my babys afraid of. muahahaha. hes afraid of the one and only moth. wahahaha! hes darn joker can? there was one time he saw a moth flying around the corridor, he was damn scared luh. he dodged around in order not to hit the moth while walking along the corridor. haha! his reactions were damn cute can? and this was the first time i heard of a guy whos afraid of moths. he said this " i hate moths because theyre disgusting. they have no eyes and will always anyhow fly and bang into people. eeyer, damn disgusting luh!" (laughs)

i miss my baby so bloody much. cant wait to see him later. sighs. hope his father will allow me to go find him at his house. sighs. my babys grounded for two days. sat and sun. im waiting for my baby to be awake. oh yea! theres always this sleeping powder in his room which could make me sleepy. ahh, then we would romance in his room. (:

i lost my fear of falling.
(oh baby, you mean the world to me.)

2006-02-25T15:53:00.000+08:00

ahh, he just went home. ): miss him like mad now. recently he has got into lots of trouble with his teachers in school; fucking bad mood. aww, so poor thing can? feel super sorry for him luh. sighs. yesterday we went to watch THE FOG. the whole darn show is damn shocking luh! i was fucking cold in the cinema can? my teeth was like chattering non stop luh! (laughs) overall, it was a nice movie. worth watching! after the movie, we dined at KFC. I LOVE MY ZINGER MEAL. (: (yums) he jacked me like shit while i was eating. had lots of fun in the one and only kfc! :D and yepp, heard from dorothy that there was a match in the arcade (maximum tune). nice racing game. darn cool, though i did not try before. went to meet dorothy at century square for the match, together with my baby, junguang. my baby and i left after a short while.(he cannot tahan the noise pollution in the arcade) he came to my house for sex after that. haha! as usual, im just kidding! (:

this morning i went to watch him play soccer at pasir ris park. ouch! and i saw him lying on the ground. some guy tackled him. ahhh, my babys injured. (darling sayang sayang) the match ended around 1pm. we went to lunch at loyang point. after that, he fetched me home on his bike. ahh, so honoured. (PBTH) he came to my house for a short while and left. hes kinda grounded now.(dontaskwhy) oh yes! my father was supposed to bring me go repair my mpthree today! but guess what, hes still sleeping like a pig now. and hes supposed to bring me go buy my new watch! ahhh, i want that "armshit" one! hope my dad can wake up asap. if not, its okay also luh. i dont feel like going out also. so tired and lazy. x)

im taking back the life you stole.
(baby i miss your touch.) ;)

2006-02-23T20:25:00.000+08:00

oh man, was spending hours finding a suitable blogskin. was really bored in the afternoon so i decided to create this blog. anyway, there will be a verbal test on nutrition in mammals tmr during biology lesson! i guess ive studied enough alr. (honestly, didnt spent much time studying) cant wait till fucking tmr man! i cant wait to fucking see my fucking cute guy out there! hes so irresistable.(sounds like food) waha! =D

im trying to blog as much as i can now, though i do not have anything on mind. ahh, miang lin pon history afternoon programme today. woah, shes like so brave luh. and yepp! dorothy has a boyfriend; benedict, glenda has a boyfriend too; kerwin and what about me? wheres my boyfriend? waha! people dont worry, hes still attached to me. i wont let him go so easily. :D I LOVE MY ONE AND ONLY; GUOJUNGUANG. (:

and i fucking miss him now. ):
(oh baby please come home, will you?)